Wit and Wisdom

Vol. II No. 37

2007-06-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

Just for Today Department:
A check of the morning headlines reveals way too many stories about people hurting other people. Why is that? Why do so many people feel it necessary to hurt their fellow travellers? When will we stop? How about today? What would happen if you and I decided that “just for today” we wouldn’t do anything to cause harm or heartache to another human being? Just for today we would seek only good things in others, help anyone who needed it, and encourage someone who was hurting? Just for today! The entire planet may not change dramatically, but our wee corner of it might be a better place . . . Just for today!
Your thoughts welcome: alan.speak@yahoo.ca

In Case You Haven’t Seen The Gopher Department:
Once in a while something appears in the InBox that’s fun, doesn’t require you to send it to 10 people in order to find true happiness, nor does it try to sell you anything. This is one of ‘em. If you figure out how it works, do let me know. And thanks to David for sending it to me.
http://www.learnenglish.org.uk/games/magic-gopher-central.swf

Butterflies Department:
Friends attended a wedding recently at which the guests were all given a small box containing a butterfly in recognition of the bride’s love of the creatures. After the ceremony, the groom’s uncle read a Native legend about how the creator gave us butterflies to carry our prayers to Him. Then everyone released the butterflies back to the Universe. Now is that a cool idea? It’s also a gentle reminder of another ancient wisdom on the topic of change: What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the butterfly knows is a miracle.
Inquiring Minds do wonder who trained all the butterflies to climb into little boxes, but that’s a subject for another time.

Royal-watch Update Department:
Seems Prince William and nice lady friend are dating again, after a brief separation. Best wishes to both of them. May the tabloids leave you alone for a while. Just for today!

Vol. II No. 36

2007-06-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

What Happened to Tony? Department:
Old time radio drama was often referred to as “Theatre of the Mind”. Listeners all knew what the characters looked like, but everyone had a different image. Sound effects created much of the tension, and again, it was different for everyone. Even comedy had a similar bent. I was raised around the British Goon Shows that featured Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secomb playing a wide range of off-the-wall characters. We knew exactly what they looked like.

The closing episode of the Sopranos borrowed this dramatic license when the final scene faded to black. Everyone who saw it has a different idea about what happened to Tony. Did he get wacked? Escape to fight another day? Leave town with his daughter? Brilliant.

Clinton Looks to Canada Department:
Hilary’s run for the US Presidency will feature Celine Dion’s You and I as her campaign theme song. That’s the same song Air Canada used for an ad campaign some time ago. Not sure what that means, but it did get Canada a small mention on CNN. Whoopee!

Scientist and Man of Faith Department:
Newly released documents reveal Isaac Newton as a deeply religious man who, among other things, calculated the exact dimensions of the ancient Jerusalem temple, the likely end of the world (according to the book of Daniel) and even wrote on Jewish law. He died 280 years ago, yet his influence is still being felt. Now we know the man many call history’s greatest scientist combined his scientific skills with a profound faith.

Yemima Ben-Menahem, one of the curator’s of the newly released papers offered an intriguing comment: She said they complicate the idea that science is diametrically opposed to religion. “These documents show a scientist guided by a desire to see God’s actions in the world.”

Your Intrepid Reporter notes that’s something to cause pause among those who try to explain everything with science.

By the way, in case you’re worried, Newton decided the world would not end prior to 2060, and probably not even then.

Bill’s Out, Bob’s In Department:
Liberal Bill Graham is quitting politics and resigning his seat. Does anyone not think space is being made available for Bob Rae to run in that riding?

Your Comments Always Welcome Department:

Love to hear from you, with agreement, disagreement, ideas, fun stuff. alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Vol. II No. 35

2007-06-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

Mission Statement vs. Reality Department:
Ever since Bob Waterman and Tom Peters published In Search of Excellence more than two decades ago organizations have wrestled with the idea of a “purpose” or “mission statement”. Untold hours are spent at retreats to craft a statement that reflects the reason the organization exists. Such statements find their way on to nice plaques, annual reports, T-shirts and coffee mugs. Unfortunately the reality is often that the meaning and sentiment are conspicuously absent from the daily behaviours.
This subject appears with regularity during our weekly Solve-the-problems-of-the-Universe Breakfasts. The latest incarnation is connected to an ongoing discussion of why the basic purpose of a hot meal program and shelter for the homeless continually finds itself embroiled in politics and “the system”. Various parties to the exercise spend a ton of time discussing options, studying the problem, filing reports, and holding meetings. In the meantime, the few folks who actually make it work keep serving dinners to people who probably wouldn’t otherwise eat.
A kid of about 8 is clutching a small bag of cookies as she leaves aforementioned public meal program. Grinning like the proverbial cheshire, she is blissfully unaware of the politics, meetings, studies, and analysis going on far away from this place of caring and love. She just knows somebody cares enough to feed her and give her a bag of cookies.
Your Intrepid Reporter suggests that, on some level, the kind person who gave her the cookies just lives the mission without fanfare. Those who wrote the Mission statement don’t get that reality, they’re much too busy at their meetings. And how about your organization? Nice plaque, T-shirt, coffee mug . . . or a group of people living day to day in the service of others?

What Does it Really Mean Department:
Inquring Minds (I.M.) wonder who spends the hours to create phrases that say nothing while sounding as if something is actually happening. You probably know the Russians are ticked at the U.S. Mister Putin said some unkind stuff about President Bush, and the two attended the same meeting this week in Germany as participants in the G-8. At a brief press conference Bush said “We agreed to have strategic dialogue and discuss our concerns.” He noted that “our representatives will be meeting to have further conversations, and find some solutions.” It is to be noted the two are in the same place at the same time, they both know what the issues are, and I can’t help but wonder why they don’t just talk about it NOW.

Deer Me Department:
New Brunswick’s legislature had an un-announced visitor recently when a deer found its way into the hallowed halls, romped around for a while, and was eventually escorted out by a security guard. There was no word on whether the deer watched Question Period, or voted on any matters of great importance.

Off and Running Department:
The Ontario Legislature has packed it in for the summer, which means we’ll now be subjected to a guhzillion (that’s a lot) promises, as the run to the October election heats up. Already this week the Premier promised a ton of money for farmers, closely on the heels of the Conservatives promising a ton of money for farmers. Is there a pattern here? Hmmm! Next, watch for “help for ordinary working families” from the NDP, and lots of environmental stuff from the Greens.

And One More Thing About "Mission Statements" Department:

A chap we know who used to own a few donut stores had a simple way of teaching his staff how the business ought to work. Each team member was required to sign a small commitment card that read: "Every customer will leave here feeling better than when they came in". How tough is that? Too easy. Sadly, the fellow no longer owns the places and they haven't been the same since he sold them.

Vol. II No. 34

2007-05-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

Natal Day Department:
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, Dear Sydney, Happy Birthday to you. Lotsa love, Poppy, Niki and Jack

Whatever Happened to this Idea Department:
Bill Paley founded CBS back in the fifties and we would do well to revisit one his most famous observations about television news coverage: “I make money on Jack Benny so I can afford to do the best news.”

Rosie’s Gone Department:
Ms. O’Donnell -- she of the tiff-with-darn-near-everybody -- has departed The View ahead of schedule. The lady got into a live kerfuffle with one of her co-hosts, and her exit closely followed. All together now: “Gee that is toooooooooooo bad!”. The really sad thing about this whole sordid episode is the woman will likely show up somewhere else to spew her venom. Maybe Donald Trump will offer her a job as his PR Director.

Cyber-confessional Department:
Carrying around some guilt you’d like to dump? Try this web site. You can anonymously confess your sins, and if nothing else, get it off your chest without fear of retribution. No word from the site’s administrators if you get absolution.
http://www.ivescrewedup.com/

Ya Couldn’t Make This Up Department :
Topless sales women are legal in Liverpool, England. But only in tropical fish stores. Imagine the City Council meeting at which the idea was first mentioned. “Okay, folks, we’re going to allow topless in some places. Your suggestions for permissable venues welcome. Please submit same in a plain brown envelope, photos will not be returned.”

Finally Hockey Finals Department:
So the annual classic gets under way this week when the Ducks and Sens meet for Lord Stanley’s cup. And for whom might you be cheering? Die-hard Leaf fans will recall this is an event with which they are not familiar. (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Vol. II No. 33

2007-05-22T09:59:00.001-07:00

Wit and Wisdom’s original mandate was to present some fun and some observations about the Universe that might stir thought, action, and to hold up a mirror for the odd moment of introspection. Usually that happens in quick sound-bite versions so it doesn’t occupy too much of the readers’ busy lives. Recent events prompt the following more lengthy entry, so if you’re short on time feel free to skip it, and return to whatever you were doing: I won’t be offended.

Yours truly recently spent some time visiting a free public food program that serves more than a hundred people every night. If not for the efforts of one guy-on-a-mission, they would go without a decent meal most of the time. There’s a deep-rooted culture and code of conduct in the place. The commonality they share is a mostly peaceful co-existence, that quietly recognizes we are all in the same boat. Some teens occasionally disturb the peace doing what teens tend to do, and the odd kerfuffle occurs from the older crowd, but generally it’s just a bunch of folks being fed and chatting about events of their day.

The pain and angst rests below the surface, and often shows up in misplaced humour, peppered with obscene gestures and language that, somehow, seem less offensive than it might in another venue. I wrote about the experience and commented:

The good people of our church are so disconnected from this world, and comfortable enough in the little middle-class church neighbourhood, that we have the luxury of pretending it’s nothing to do with us.

That observation drew a response: “What do you think the suburban church can do to truly make a connection with people at the mission?”

Many moons ago, long before the T-shirts, lapel-buttons, colourful wrist bands and billboards emblazoned with WWJD, there was a book called “In His Steps”. The novel, now more than a hundred years old, was written by Charles Sheldon and was about a community that decided they would all respond to every situation they faced based on how they believed Christ would have responded. Four of us were reading the book during a trip to New York City. I was driving the T-roof Thunderbird and got us lost in the middle of the Bronx. Four white middle-class travellers, in the heart of a poverty-stricken black neighbourhood on a very hot June afternoon. After popping a quick U-turn and beating a hasty exit, one of our number referenced the book’s premise and asked “What do you suppose Christ would have done if He had been driving?” Yikes! Aaarrggh! Nothing like an instant lesson to move from academic discussion of literature into the real-world. A lengthy silence followed the question, until one of us said (I’d like to think it was me, but I’m not sure, so let’s just say “somebody”) offered: “He would have stopped the car, got out, and spent time with the people”. Needless-to-say we did not do that.

I thought of that New York experience when asked “What the suburban church can do to make a connection with people at the Mission?” Maybe the answer is as simple as: Drive your middle class car, from your middle class church and stop in at the Mission just to listen to whatever the folks wanna talk about. Underpinning much of what happens there is an unspoken message that essentially says: Please tell me that I matter, that I have value. To somebody!

To learn more of the place in which God has chosen to do some good work visit: http://www.mission.squarespace.com/

And if you’re so inclined, drop me a note to let me know what you think: alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Vol. II No. 32

2007-05-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

It’s Not My Fault Department:
All parties in the Commons are taking aim at all other parties these days, thus creating a new low in the dysfunctional nature of the process. Harper blames Dion and his troops, Layton and his gang, and Duceppe and his lot. Aforementioned blame Harper. There’s a kindergarten quality to these machinations that’s almost amusing, if it wasn’t costing so much money. Another battle raging between MP Dean Del Mastro and ex-financial commentator, ex-Toronto Sun Columnist, ex-conservative, ex-cabinet minister, ex-independent MP, and now Liberal back-bencher Garth Turner also has a school-yard ring to it. Seems the latter made a crack about used car salesmen, to which Del Mastro took offence (he being in the car biz. before his election). Grow up boys, get over it. Then there’s the committee that decided to call Hockey Canada officials to a meeting to discuss their selection of a Captain for the National Team. Does anyone else think politicians ought not to get their knickers in a knot about such matters?

Paying for TV Department:
As far back as I can remember Canadian stations have been limited to 12 minutes of commercials per hour during prime-time programming. The governing body (CRTC) just announced the limit will soon increase to 14 minutes, and in a couple of years there will be no limit on commercial content. Someday we may see nothing but commercials, and no programs.

. . . and a Child Shall Lead Them Department:
Two girls, about 8 years old, watched as a couple of adults yelled at each other and made threatening gestures. The scene unfolded in full view of a group of other adults, any one of whom could have stepped in and ended it in seconds, but didn’t make the effort. One could argue that an intervention may have escalated the problem, but whatever the reason, real or imagined, nobody did anything. Until one of the little girls marched up to the combatants and said in a crystal clear voice: “Please stop yelling, you’re scaring my sister.” They stopped! Your Intrepid Reporter suggests the munchkin-peacemaker ought to be sent to some of the world’s hot spots to impart her innocent wisdom.

Metaphor or Reality? Department:
Robert Watt, a leading stonemason, has written a letter to the Feds advising that parts of the Parliament buildings are in grave danger of collapse. Visitors to the Nation’s capital probably noticed a large section of the building is wrapped to prevent anyone being hurt by falling debris. Forgive me for thinking there’s something metaphorical about the buildings being at risk of collapse, when what goes on inside is equally close to collapsing under the pressure of Question Period childishness.

Vol. II No. 31

2007-05-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

Congrats, Blessings and Really Good Wishes Department:
Erin and Jeremy are proud parents of a new lad. Delivered early on the morning of May 7, he checked in at 6 lbs, 13 oz. Everybody healthy. The little guy doesn’t know yet how blessed he is to have the love of two of the kindest people on Spaceship Earth. He will, and God is smiling.

Statistical Bugs Department:
You are more likely to be killed by a lawnmower than by a black-widow spider. Now that’s good information to have. Inquiring Minds (I.M.) wonder what would happen if you found a spider sitting on your lawn mower?

40th Anniversaries Department:
Two events that happened 40 years ago are worthy of note: The Leafs last won a Stanley Cup, and Expo 67 ran in Montreal. If you remember either of these momentous occasions think back on what you were doing, what your dreams were, and where you thought would be when the annivresaries were celebrated. Yikes!

It’s About Money Department:
Don Imus launched legal action against CBS for his recent firing. Seems he’d like $120 million for his troubles. At least one legal guru thinks he has a good case, since the man’s contract calls for him to be “controversial”.

Explain and You Lose Department:
Elizabeth May, embattled boss-lady of the Green Party, tried to explain her remarks that compared Stephen Harper’s handling of the environment to Neville Chamberlain’s handling of the nazis. Chalk this one up to political naiveté. Two things worth mentioning that she needs to put in her bag o’political tricks: Avoid mention of nazis anywhere, and anytime; and don’t explain stuff. Just apologize and shut up.

Same Lesson, Different Player Department:
Justin Trudeau needs a history lesson. Got himself elected as the Liberal candidate in Papineau and a few days later forgot what his dad had done to guarantee bilingual schools in our fair land. In a speech to New Brunswick teachers he noted that two systems are divisive and maybe we ought to consider scrapping the idea. Not smart, Justin. Major rule in the business of giving speeches: Know your audience.

Your Intrepid Reporter (I.R.) suggests Stephan Dion put Ms. May and young M. Trudeau into the same Sensitivity training courses.

Vol.II No. 30

2007-04-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

Is it Mom’s Fault? Department:
Prince William and Kate Middleton have split. Royal-watchers and the Royal-obsessed Brit media suggest it’s the nice lady’s mother who may be at the route of the relationship troubles. Seems mom does not fit well in the higher circles of the aristocratic class-system. She greeted the Queen somewhat informally, and then asked about the “loo”. Just not done. “We were not amused”.

Parenting-skills Department:
Given current trends, look for Alex Baldwin to sign up for a parenting-therapy program soon. The actor’s phone-message rant to his daughter went public, and it re-defines the word “nasty”. Needless-to-say, he released a “sorry-statement” on his web site, but the damage has been done, and therapy will likely be the next step of contrition. Inquiring Minds (I.M.) wonder how the tape got released and on the net. Could it be anything to do with the on-going custody battle between Alex and Kim? Hmmmm! As is often the case, the kids become the weapon-of-choice, and suffer the impact of the adults’ anger at each other.

For Sale Sign on the Phone Company Department:
As noted here a couple of weeks ago, a denial is often a good sign that something is, in fact, afoot. After denials a short time ago, BCE announced a sale is in the works for the giant corporation. The original press release mentioned there were “no on-going talks” regarding a sale. I.M. wonder how BCE communications people define “on-going-talks”.

Call It What It Is Department:
Regular readers of W& W will recall previous comment that “suicide bombers” are actually “homicide bombers”. The primary purpose of such an act is to kill other people. The death of the perpetrator is the method, not the principal goal. Your Intrepid Reporter is now on a mission to educate media on this thought, and to encourage a change in the language of reports, so the reality is acknowledged. If you agree, send an email message to media folks and tell them.

Vol. II No. 29

2007-04-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

A Fine Effort at Vimy Department:
The re-dedication ceremony and memorial service from Vimy was one of the most well-conceived and well-executed events of recent times. The entire affair touched the heart and soul, and truly honoured those who gave their lives, as well as those who continue to serve on foreign soil. Speeches were mercifully short, delivered with profound respect, and made a powerful connection with a very diverse audience. No small feat.
One of the most poignant moments came from an un-named man who sat with head bowed during one of the prayers. He held in his hand a small framed photograph of two men in old army unforms. No doubt family members who paid the ultimate price for our freedoms. To the camera people and production crew who found that image, and chose to share it, sincere thanks.

Spring is Finally Upon Us Department:
The Leafs and the Habs are out of the playoffs. Dear me, it must be spring. Where is Jean Beliveau when we need him most?

Belinda Bails Department:
Former Conservative MP, former Conservative leadership candidate, former girlfriend of Conservative cabinet minster, former Liberal cabinet minister, former “friend” of Mister Domi, Ms. B. Stronach is going back to Magna. Seems the nice lady has had enough of politics and will return to the corporate excitement of Dad’s wee company. Not a good message for M. Dion who is trying desparately to bring women candidates to the party. Ah well: Money Talks. Surprise?

Therapy Soon-to-be-scheduled Department:
Watch for Don Imus to attend sensitivity-therapy: That being the apology-of-choice for celebs. who stuff feet in mouth. Inquiring Minds wonder what Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would do if high-profile media types didn’t give them something to be ticked-off about. Speaking of Jackson and Sharpton, who decided those guys ought to be the spokespeople of choice on anything to do with race? Oh yeah, CNN.

Vol. II No. 28

2007-04-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

Selling an Icon Department:
One of Canada’s iconic corporations, may, or may not, be up for sale. Vague denials are often a good sign there’s actually something to the story. When Bay Street heard grumblings that KKK was making a bid for BCE, the company was quick with a press release to say: “there are no on-going talks” taking place. The back-story to this is the Conservative government will not want to see such a deal take place prior to an election, because it would give Msrs. Layton and Dion much fodder for the 10-second sound bites, so it will quietly disappear to Page 5 for a while. Kind of like the bank-merger discussions that have “not” been going on for many moons. When in doubt, follow the money.

Something to Think About Department:
What do you value today that wasn’t important 20 years ago, and what has less value now than it did then? Those questions arose during an interesting discussion with a group of folks who have lived a lot of years, and now view life from a very different perspective than they did in their youth. Peace, meaning and wisdom ranked high on their values-list: Power, possessions and control take a back-seat today. And what do you think? Thoughts always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

A Sterling Example Department:
A parent screams at a hockey coach during the 11 year-old’s game. Not big news. Happens a lot, as anyone who has a kid playing hockey knows from experience. What put this on at least one front page was the fact the parent in question is Tie Domi. Seems the former Leaf tough-guy got pretty ugly during his lad’s game, hurling a stream of nasty critique at aforementioned coach. Inquiring Minds wonder whatever happened to “it’s just a game”? And maybe kids just want to play hockey. Next step? Ban parents from the rink and let the kids play the game in peace.

Hmmmm! Department:
Does a clean house mean there’s a broken computer inside?

The Leafs might yet make the playoffs. They meet Les Canadiens next weekend in what could be the deciding game. Now that would be cool.

Vol.II No. 27

2007-03-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

Conservatives M.I.A. Department:
Years ago a friend told me the “primary function of government is to stay in power.” This principle applies regardless of political stripe. Put that backdrop on the recent budget, and the spending spree is understandable. The alleged-conservatives (a-c) loaded up the gravy train, ran it across the country, and followed that romp with a budget of goodies for almost everyone. Am I the only one who thinks the budget looks more like a liberal-effort than a conservative one? Inquiring Minds (I.M.) wonder how come the “right” is drifting to the left? Refer previous observation: “stay in power!”

Famous-for-being-famous Update:
For those of you eagerly awaiting the latest news on Britney, she’s out of rehab. I.M. note that “rehab” is the latest ploy to avoid personal resonsibility. When in doubt try: “it’s not my fault: I was victimized by drugs, booze or a bad childhood, or I was breast-fed, or I wasn’t breast-fed, or . . . etc etc.” Check-in to rehab, call the publicist.
In a related story, Kevin Federline celebrated his 29th birthday. Did you send a card? Me neither. Worth noting the lad is described in news items as “an aspiring rappper”. And to what might you be aspirng? Me? I’m an aspiring King. Might as well aim high.

When Ego Trumps the Mission Department:
Two items crossed the desk this week that, on the surface, seem unrelated, and yet carry a common theme. The volunteer board of a golf club was under attack by a small group of self-serving members with their own agenda. As is often the case, things turned nasty and personal over an issue that could have been resolved peacefully if the antagonists remembered what the mission of the club is supposed to be. Friend who attended the gathering, commented as he related the details: “I just want to play golf.” Hmmm. Makes sense to me.

The other item concerns a church that’s going through a ton of unnecessary heartache because of a very small group who have a huge axe to grind. Half a dozen folks, who have been carting around aforementioned axe for going on 30 years, decided an otherwise private issue ought to be made public and began a rumour-infested campaign that has escalated into some truly ugly stuff. I.M. wonder if these folks ever ask what the purpose of the Church is supposed to be? They could all quote chapter and verse of Christ’s instruction to “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, all thy strength and all thy soul: And love one another”. My golfer friend might say: “I just want to love God”. However, translate from “mission to action” and something falls apart.

Golf club or Church, the ego always gets in the way. Love God and Play Golf. How tough is that?

Vol.II No. 26

2007-03-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

Election-budget Department:
So, for those of you had other things to do rather than watch live coverage of the federal budget this week, here’s the highlight: $20 billion in tax cuts and spending.

If, like me, you have trouble understanding a “billion” anythings, the nooze for the little-folks is a tax break if you have kids under 18, a tax on gas-guzzling vehicles, a lot of money for provinces that don’t have enough, and a bucket of cash for Quebec: Surprise!
Layton and Dion don’t like it, Duceppe doesn’t like it much, but will support it.

Current Buzzwords Department:
Your Intrepid Reporter (I.R.) brings the following phrases to your attention: “Working families” – “Ordinary Canadians” – “Average Canadians” -- “Eco-anything”. All of these make it into almost every comment by anyone with a political agenda.

What’s in a Name? Department:
Ian Gill, President of Eco Trust Canada is ticked. Seems the Conservatives have lidnapped a name for the current spending-spree across the country, which is strikingly similar to Mr. Gill’s non-profit organization, Eco-trust Canada. The Feds use “Canada Eco-trust” as the handle for their efforts to fix the environment. Gill is “exploring his options” – aka “Call the lawyers and see if there’s a windfall waiting to drop into his lap”.

Blowing Up a Piece of History Department;
The Stardust hotel in Vegas was demolished after almost fifty years as a landmark in the City-that-Never-Sleeps. Opened in 1958, the icon of the strip pioneered cheap rooms and food to keep gamblers happy. It will be replaced by another mega-facility featuring 5000 rooms, a million square feet of meeting space and a shopping mall. The tab for this wee project? $4.4 Billion (that’s Billion, with a large B).

Vol. II No. 25

2007-03-07T05:17:00.000-08:00

Time-Change Department:
In case you missed it, we in the frozen north are following our American friends and advancing the clocks three weeks earlier than usual. As you hit the sack Saturday night (March 10) turn the clock ahead one hour. Chances are pretty good your computer will not do an automatic update; you’ll probably have to do it manually, or live with your computer clock being out by an hour for the next three weeks.

Jacob’s Mission Department:
An 11 year old lad in Mapleridge BC went to buy a puppy, heard about abused dogs, and decided to do something about it. Jacob Carbery started the “Wiggle-waggle Walk” (great name) to raise funds, and the idea took off. Local fire department got involved, along with a lot of folks from the community. A short time later, more than $10,000.00 had flowed into the cause. Next time you think one person cannot make a difference consider what one kid-on-a-mission accomplished.

Rumour Laid-to-Rest Department:
Ever since “The Day the Music Died” (February 3, 1959), when Ritchie Valens, Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper were killed in a plane crash, stories have floated around that the Bopper actually died from a gun shot. The family of J.P. Richardson (aka The Big Bopper) recently had his body exhumed and an autopsy conducted that confirms there was no such wound, and he in fact, died as a result of the crash. In a sidebar to this story, Waylon Jennings gave up his seat on the plane to J.P. and the two bantered about the freezing bus ride versus a quick trip by air. Jennings off-hand remark: “I hope your plane crashes” haunted the man for years.

Big Bucks in Big-smoke Department:
Signs a Federal election may be looming continued as the P.M. blew into Toronto to announce a ton of money for an extension to the subway system (it will wind up in a cabinet minister’s backyard, but that’s just a coincidence …hmmm!).
Bob Rae, ex NDP Premier, ex-Liberal-leadership candidate, will announce he’s running for federal parliament whenever the election does happen. Stéphan Dion continues his national tour to raise Liberal fortunes, and “eco” is the buzzword of the moment, as the environment persists as the current cause-celèbre. (no less than 3 of five major funding announcements included "eco" in the headlines.)

Vol. II No. 24

2007-03-05T06:18:00.000-08:00

No Smoking (Except at the CBC) Department:
A quirk in the law allows smoking rooms at the CBC. Seems our national broadcaster is subject to Federal law, and therefore can get around Ontario’s smoking ban in public buildings.

Conspiracy Theories Department:
Who killed Lincoln? Or Kennedy? Such questions have occupied many for years. More recently, the Da Vinci Code made a fortune exploring the subject, and this week The Lost Tomb of Jesus is getting a ton of press coverage for James Cameron’s “documentary”. Hang a “conspiracy angle” on almost any story and media leaps to the cause. Such is the case for a phenemenon known as “The Secret”. Put together by Rhonda Byrne, it features a book, a DVD with a collection of self-help authors and motivational speakers, and a two-hour Oprah special: Good recipe for hot sales numbers. Marketing hype tells us the mysterious idea has been hidden from mere mortals throughout time, and is now revealed for about $40.00 for the DVD. Think positively and positive things will happen to you. Yup, that’s it. Norman Vincent Peale said as much in the fifties and made no attempts to conceal it. Some things don’t change: They just get re-packaged and featured on Oprah.

Save the Liberals Department:
Stéphane Dion is on a cross-country tour trying to resurect his image, and the fortunes of the Federal Libs. Sources tell your Intrepid Reporter the tour will focus on his intellect and his vision for the country. Seems to W&W there is an entire government portfolio to handle the “vision” question. We eagerly anticipate M. Dion’s contribution to the dialogue.

Re-thinking the Me-generation Department:
Two recent studies are causing some concern that constant praise of children might not be the best way to create well-adjusted adults. For decades parents have been told to heap approval on the munchkins, regardless of performance. “You are special” became the mantra of well-meaning folks trying to raise their kids in a supportive atmosphere. It may well have created an almost institutional narcissism, with the key questions revolving around “what’s in it for me?” Oh dear, now what do we do?

Vol.II No. 23

2007-02-28T06:01:00.000-08:00

Liberal Leadership Race Re-ignited Department: (aka: Stephan, watch your back Department)
So, Stephane Dion took a few hits yesterday. Some of his caucus members either went missing for the big vote on security matters, or abstained from the vote. By Wednesday there was a lineup of Liberals using words like "extremist" to describe their noble leader. Michael Ignatieff got himself a ton of face-time on the Commons floor, and the usual talk-fests on the three networks. Bob Rae is conspicuously available to any journalist who’ll listen to him wax eloquent on all the good things he’s done for our planet. Astute observers of these three items could be forgiven for thinking the Liberal Leadership is up for grabs one more time.

Faith and Bones Department:
On March 4 The Discovery Channel will air a documentary, produced by James Cameron, that suggests bones found some years ago could be those of Jesus and His family. Throughout time, Science and Spirituality have been uncomfortable with each other, and this is no exception. Seems to this observer that if one’s faith is based solely on scientific evidence it defies any reasonable definition of faith.
There’s a Canadian connection to this story: The program was directed by Toronto’s Simcha Jacobovici.

Vol. II No. 22

2007-02-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

Thanks For Your Concern Department:
W&W was missing-in-action for a few days, and many of you noticed. We took a wee hiatus to handle a major project at W&W World Headquarters. Thanks for your notes and concerns.

Colonel Pope Department:
KFC has asked Pope Benedict XVI to bless it’s new menu-offering. A sandwich, named Fish Snacker, is to be on the menu during Lent, and the fast food chain wants an endorsement from the Boss-guy at the Vatican. No word on a response from the Pontiff. The sandwich comes with tartar sauce and is served on a sesame seed bun: That alone ought to be enough to qualify for a blessing.

Assorted Ramblings Department (Comments welcome at: alan.speak@yahoo.ca)
For perhaps the first time in human history we have the capability to feed the entire planet, and yet thousands of kids will go to bed hungry tonight, and thousands more will die of malnutrition. One of the famous-for-being-famous crowd wore a $25,000.00 dress to the Oscars, and that doesn’t include the trinkets. Somehow, that’s just wrong!

How come we can talk to people in space, send information and millions of dollars around the globe in nano-seconds, see Wolf Blitzer talking from any country in the world, but the phone company cannot move an existing phone number two miles outside city limits?

If the dog eats and drinks anytime after 8:00pm she wants to go out at 3:00am. If she does not eat or drink after 8pm she wants to go out at 3am. It’s very quiet in this neighbourhood at 3am. And these days, cold. The dog goes immediately back to sleep; no such luck for your Intrepid Reporter, who has discovered some very strange television programs on at 3am.

Scoville Heat Units Department:
Bhut Jolokia is hot. Really hot. In case you missed this in Grade 10 biology, Scoville Heat Units are used to measure a chili’s heat-level. Bhut Jolokia checks in at more than a million of aforementioned units. By comparison, the average jalapeno measures about 10,000. Paul Bosland, a New Mexico professor, will enter Guiness records for having eaten one of these brutes. No word on how much water the lad consumed after the first taste. Perhaps he’ll also be in Guiness for most water consumed in 30 seconds.

Vol. II No. 21

2007-02-19T06:06:00.000-08:00

Penny to get “Plutoed” Department:
There’s a move afoot to deep-six the noble penny from our currency. One wonders what will happen to all the penny-jars across the land.

GM Buying Chrysler??? Department:
Two of the major US automakers have talked about joint ventures on such things as a new SUV. Hard on the heels of that news, Chrysler announced massive “restructuring” (read lay-offs). Now the rumour-mill heats up with talk of GM making a bid to buy at least part of the struggling giant. Inquiring Minds wonder why the so-called Big-Three don’t just make better cars? It can be done. Can you say “Honda” . . . or “Toyota”?

Are YOU the Father? Department:
Seven, and counting. That’s the latest number of men claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s child. Lawyers and Larry King score big-time in the peculiar events surrounding the death of the nice lady. In a side-bar to this bizarre circumstance, your Intrepid Reporter heard a statememt from a lad who calls himself a journalist that sets a new low in credibility: “A source of mine said he’d talked to someone, who heard from a person close to the family, that a friend told him . . . etc etc.”

Hairless-Britney Department:
Once again a member of the Famous-for-being-famous crowd gets press for another non-event. Seems Britney appeared at a tatoo parlour sporting a new image: Bald. Does anyone really care?

On a Personal Note Department:
There is a major project going on here at the moment. The details don’t matter, but what does is that some really good people have rallied to the cause of your Intrepid Reporter.
Dan, Bob W, Lee, Mark, Susan, Linda, Rick, Dawn, Terry, Lina, Erin, Graham, Jacqui, Bob K. Hazel, Dick and Vi, John, Jeff, Karen. To all of you, I say a heartfelt ThankYou. Not only for the practical help you provided so willingly, but also for the moral support during a tough time for this fellow-traveller. May good things happen for all of you.

Vol.II No 20

2007-02-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

Observations from a Friend Department:
A deeply spiritual chum spends much time helping others through various challenges in their lives. Among the volunteers who assist in the process are what a passing glance would suggest are “God’s People”. They quote scripture verbatim, constantly offer prayers, and attend Sunday services diligently.
Many of the folks helped in this effort are seriously hurting. They include a few drinkers, a smattering of “rough” characters, and others not usually welcomed into so-called “polite societies”.
Curious in this mix of people is the fact those who might be seen as the less significant are the ones who demonstrate more faith and more gratitude. Consider this quote from aforementioned friend: “I'm in a state of wonder and awe that so many of God's people don't seem to get this place at all, while so many drunks, lost teens, outcasts, exiles and refugees do.”

The Numbers Tell a Story Department:
Recent ratings by Nielsen Media Research reveal that more than 33 million people watched an episode of American Idol, while the three major US network news-shows garnered a total of less than 25 million viewers. Guess more of us want insults and mediocre entertainment more than we want information.

The Science of Love Department:
Bet you didn’t know you had a caudate and a ventral tegmental. Me neither, until today. Science has, yet-again, stepped into romance. Dr. Lucy Brown, and her colleagues at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, did MRI brain scans on students who were in love. The caudate area of the brain – which is involved in cravings – became very active when subjects were shown photos of their beloved. The ventral tegmental, that produces dopamine, which affects pleasure sensations and motivation, also lit up.
Inquiring Minds(I.M.) wonder when a wrist-band monitor will be invented that can measure such things while participating at a Speed-dating event.

Monkeying Around with Feng Shui Department:
(aka: Ya Couldn’t make this up Department)
The Los Angeles Zoo has paid an expert in Feng Shui (an ancient Chinese design-art that focuses on life-balance) to arrange an enclosure for two endangered golden monkeys scheduled to arrive at the zoo by the end of the year. In a classic understatement, Simona Mainini, the aforementioned expert, noted that “we don’t have any books on Feng Shui for monkeys. We just have to assume that Darwin is correct and that there is a connection, and what is good for humans is good for monkeys."
And the tab for this effort: $4500.00. I.M. wonder: How does one get a gig like that?

Vol. II No. 19

2007-02-13T06:28:00.000-08:00

Update on the Skunk Department:
Dorothy-the-travelling Skunk is home in California. A great story that involved a whole lot of people doing some good things, for no other reason than it was the right thing to do. A good lesson in what can happen when a group of like-minded folks come together in a common-cause. For a list of those who helped, check National Post article. At http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/story.html?id=17378d17-b11e-46c3-8498-3a8e64232733&k=0

Break-with-Tradition Department:
For as long as anyone can remember, newspaper editorials appeared without attribution. That’s about to change at Sun Media. Effective immediately, Sun editorials will be signed by the writers. Interesting. Now, if you disagree with a comment, you will know to whom to express your opposition, rather than the semi-anonymous “Dear Editor”.

Child-time vs. Adult-time Department:
Kids understand two time-frames: Now, and NOT now. As adults, we are supposed to understand a concept called “deferred gratification”, but many of us don’t. Bombarded by media messages that extol the virtues of consumer goods and services, we cave to the pressure, and accumulate “stuff”. In a terrific message I heard on the weekend, the speaker asked a question our parents probably asked, but we have forgotten in an age of easy credit: Do you need it or want it? Perhaps a virtue we would all do well to cultivate is “Learn how to wait.”

Things that Don’t Work Department:
Putting air in a tire ought not to be a challenge, but for reasons-unknown, five service stations visited by your Intrepid Reporter yesterday had “Out of Order” signs on their air machines. Frustrating at the best of times, the project was made all-the-more aggravating by the vicious cold, and the fact many of the aformentioned pieces of equipment now charge a fee (allegedly a donation to charity). Inquiring Minds wonder how Grandfather would have reacted to paying for air. Probably the same way he would react to buying water in a bottle.

Vol. II No. 18

2007-02-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

Who Knew? Department:
One of the core needs we all have is to be heard, really heard. Listening is a learned skill, and, as most of us know from our own daily experiences, not something that comes easily. In case you didn’t know, there is an “International Listening Association”. Started in 1979, the organization notes it’s members are: “dedicated to learning more about the impact listening has on all human activity”.
http://www.listen.org/Templates/try_new.htm
Check it out. Some really good reading, and guidance. If you're gutsy, pass the web site location on to someone you know who doesn't really listen.

Politics-as-Usual Department

(aka: And They Wonder WhyWe’re Cynical Department):
So, former Toronto Sun Business Editor, former Tory Cabinet Minister, former Tory MP, former Independent MP, and potential Green Party Candidate, Garth Turner, joined the Liberals.
This is the very-same Mr. Turner who, when David Emerson went from the Libs to Harper’s Cabinet, commented: “If you want to be a Liberal, be elected as a Liberal. All those things have honour, but the honour is bestowed by the people, not by the individual.” I guess there are some notable exceptions to the “honour” issue.

Recycling the LCBO Department:
Ontario residents started paying a deposit on wine and liquor bottles. Some estimates suggest 80 million bottles will no longer wind up in landfill sites. They will wind up at The Beer Store. Inquiring Minds wonder why LCBO doesn’t take responsibility for its own bottles? Must have been a Study-group, complete with flip-charts, brainstorming and PowerPoint Slides. Sorry I missed that one.

Lay-off The Leafs Department:
This critique from an obvious fan of the Double Blue: “They’ve won five in a row…leave them alone”. I hear ya. But . . .keep in mind that some of us remember a six-team league, and, for expatriot Montrealers there is no team more fun to hassle than the Leafs, so don’t hold your breath.

Vol. II No. 17

2007-02-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

Measuring Stuff Department:
Have you noticed how much energy is invested in the measurement of things? This morning the temperature is a major topic of conversation. It’s cold, and we seem to need to attach a number to it. Not content with the thermometer, we add “wind-chill”.
A quick check of the morning headlines reveals a surfeit (good word, that also means excess, glut, surplus) of items that require numbers to help us understand. If you’re in need of an MRI it’s supposed to be comforting to know government wants to establish maximum “wait-time guarantees” for same.
Inquiring Minds suggest “way-too-cold” and “way-too-long” are two better ways to describe temperature and wait-times.
Too many people die in various wars, too many people have no place to call home, and way-too-many-kids go hungry. When you look at that stuff, the numbers matter less than the heartache: One is too many.

Warning-labels Department:
Hand-sanitizer dispensers appear frequently these days. I suppose it was just a matter of time before somone discovered many of them contain alcohol. Seems to W&W that we ought not need to be told not to drink the stuff. But appears that is actually happening. Frankly, I don’t ever need to know what that stuff tastes like.

The Gun is Always Loaded Department:
Back in your Intrepid Reporter’s broadcasting days, there was a principle that “the microphone is always live”. Failure to accept it led to many an embarrassment and more-than-a-few unplanned career changes. These days, not only is the microphone always live, there is “always a microphone” (and/or camera) within easy reach. California governor Arnold Schwarznegger is learning that lesson the hard way, as he tries to explain leaked tapes of recent conversations wherein he spoke unkindly about some of his opponents. Can you say, “Richard Nixon?” – Some things don’t change.

Doing and Being Department:
In case you have not had a deep thought today, try this one, from friend Rick – the guy who always makes me think: “Maybe our lives are not so much about an illusive purpose, or what we’re doing at any given moment, as much as they are about who we are.”
The fact the subject has come up in discussions to which I have been a party twice in less than a week probably says it’s worth exploring. Can you answer it? Who am I? Try responding, without reference to any of the normal labels – such as parent, spouse, male, female, job title, or any of the usual things by which we tend to self-identify. Tough assignment. And worthwhile. Your comments always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Vol. II No. 16

2007-02-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

Ground Hog Report Department:
All the major rodent-predictors came up and saw their shadows. Legend says that’s a predictor of an early spring. Sources did not comment on whether that also means the beasts have joined with the Global Warming crowd. On a related subject, David Suzuki is embarking on a 30 day cross-Canada tour to raise awareness of environmental issues. He’s also now drinking tap water rather than the bottled variety.
By the way, if you don’t really trust the groundhogs, watch for the Leafs to be out of the playoffs: A sure sign of spring.

Making a Difference Department:
Some names you will not see in the headlines or on the late news this week are touching lives and making a huge difference in their own little corner of the planet. Young Daniel listened intently to your humble servant this week. He did so without judgement, and as a true friend. In among his own challenges is his mother’s serious health issues, to which he is also devoting a big chunk of his vacation time.

Rick continues to feed a bunch of people who likely would not otherwise get a hot meal into them. He does so without fanfare, nor recognition of any kind. Just because it’s the right thing to do.

Jackie extended a hand of kindness to a fellow traveller this week. Also without fanfare or public recognition.

Susan runs a wee gathering of senior-folks that allows them to talk about anything, in an atmosphere of safety and support. Subjects run the gamut, and always teach everyone in the room something – often about themselves, and the gifts they bring to each other, just by being who they are. Classic Zen – “We are all students and we are all teachers.”

Four people going about the business of serving, in the small ways that make a big difference in the lives of others.

W&W asks: And what will you do, today, to make your chunk of the universe a little nicer to be in?

Drama in Real-Life Department:
In an historic move, current court proceedings involving Stephen Truscott are being broadcast live via the CBC website. Given that most of our knowledge of such things is created by TV-drama it’s a fascinating close-up look at what really happens in court.

Super Bowl Comment Department:
Who cares?

The cost of just one commercial in the annual homage-to-excess could do a lot to fix much of the lingering heartache in New Orleans.

Vol. II No. 15

2007-02-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

The King Has No Clothes Department:
The kid who played Harry Potter in the movies is rattling some cages. Daniel Radcliffe, now 17 years old, stars in a London production of the play Equus, which is about a man who becomes sexually obsessed with horses. The young lad is featured in a series of publicity photos described as “seriously sexy”.
In a related story, the final Harry Potter book will be published July 21.

Plucky-duck Department:
Perky the duck made news last week when a hunter’s wife opened the fridge and the duck raised up its head. Shot, and presumed dead, the duck had been in the chill for two days. A vet put a pin in the duck’s wing and she’s surviving. Inquiring Minds (I.M.) wonder if the hunter might quit his hobby. There has to be a message in there somewhere.

There is Always an Election Going On Department:
Tory ads attacking Stéphan Dion’s record on the environment will air during the Super Bowl. The PM might go to a global summit on the environment. The NDP and Conservatives are getting cozy on new bills coming before the house, the Auditor General dumped a key player in her department, and Dion took a shot at the PM’s weight during a TV interview. Is anyone surprised?

So Wonderfully Canadian Department:
Most media web sites include a straw-vote poll on matters-of-the-day. A recent CTV question asked: Are TV Cameras in the courtroom a good idea? In a classic reflection of how things occur in this great country, the yes/no vote was 50/50.

Ups and Downs of University-Research Department:
A long-standing male/female argument may have found a definitive answer, thanks to a professor in Pakistan.Hammad Al-Sabah Siddiqi, assistant professor at Lahore University of Management Sciences uses game theory to analyze toilet seat operations. He concludes that all things taken into account, including the aggravation factor, it’s better to leave the seat down.
Also weighing-in on this matter of great import is Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, "Toilets are designed to have the seat down and, in fact, the lid closed.” Seinfeld fans will recall the episode when Jerry dropped his girfriend’s toothbrush in the loo, lending a sanitary reason for the seat…and lid…down option.
I.M. wonder how the Prof. got himself a gig that allows such vital research.

Vol. II No. 14

2007-01-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

The System for the Sake of The System Department:
Two different conversations yielded an interesing common theme recently. The first involved, of all things, a church meeting that had degenerated into a somewhat unpleasant debate. The second wandered around how the lives of kids in school have changed since “we were boys”. Both locked on to the fact that once a “system” is in place, the parties to that system do everything they can to maintain it, and their positions within it, regardless of the original stated purpose. The church’s raison d’étre is alleged to be about bringing people closer to God. Education says it’s about teaching kids stuff they’ll need to know.

Sadly, in both cases, the systems, and inherent egos, tend to take over the process. The church becomes about measuring how many people are there, how many hymns are sung, how long the prayers and the sermon are. Much press coverage of education focuses on contracts, pensions and violence. Frankly, I’m not sure what to do with this. Maybe you do. Comments welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Multiplying Quebecers Department:
The birth rate in La Belle Province jumped eight percent in 2006, the biggest increase since 1909. The national rate is 10.5 births per 1000 population and Quebec is now at 10.6. W&W notes that in the year 2022 there will be a dramatic increase in aggressive drivers. Worth noting that’s where your Intrepid Reporter learned to drive, so I speak from experience.

Comment on the Language Department:
Recent W&W observation about the use of “sectarian violence” rather than “civil war” garnered some strongly worded emails. This from a chap who says he served in the military: “If people kill each other in an organized fashion, it’s war; whatever you call it. I’m tired of governments, with help from a complicit media, using convoluted and twisted words to tell us what they’d like us to think is happening.”

On a Similar Theme Department:
When someone blows him/herself up in a car, why do we insist on calling it a suicide bomb? If ending one’s own life … ie suicide ... is the goal, there are ways to do it that don’t hurt innocent people. When the real goal is to cause someone else’s death. That’s a homicide bomb. Let’s call it what it is.

In Case You Care Department:
Lauren Nelson was crowned Miss America. The lady signed a “morality clause” and will be chaperoned 24/7. Other contestants were “fired, quit, or entered rehab”. Enough said!

Follow-up Department:

Recent item noting a good National Post article about the word "community" prompted this from friend Rick, who always makes me think: "Community is where we know and are known, love and are loved, serve and are served, celebrate and are celebrated."

Yikes, That Was Quick Department; (late addition to today’s entry)
This posting went up this morning and within a few hours it was evident a nerve or two had been struck. Seems a few of you took exception to observations about “systems” that exist only for their own perpetuation. Take on religion or education and one is, I suppose, bound to excite some people. Keep in mind that W&W’s goal is to stimulate thought and, occasionally be a mirror. If today’s In-Box is any indication, it’s working.
A sample: “I’m a teacher and I resent your implication that we are focused only on salary, benefits and violence. Try to do my job for a week, and then tell me what you think about how we deal with the kids.”
“As an ordained minister with a large city-based congregation, I suggest you look at the real reasons some of the people you mention are not fulfilling what you suggest is the mandate of the Church. Ask why they are complaining, and what you can do to help them.”

Thanks for your thoughts. Always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Vol. II No. 13

2007-01-27T06:29:00.000-08:00

Safe Choice Department:
The White House Correspondents’ annual dinner has a reputation for a free-wheeling comic routine, usually involving pot-shots at the sitting President, sometimes with a cruel edge. This year’s organizers selected impressionist Rich Little for the task, in the hope he will be, at least, harmless. Billy Crystal wanted half a million bucks for the gig. Maybe Little’s doing it for that, but in Canadian dollars.

Toronto-the-Fusty Department:
In a departure from the usual tourism advertising efforts, the city launched an off-the-wall print-campaign that pokes fun at the town’s image. Three of the four have less-than-subtle sexual themes, and the fourth shows a pregnant woman and her partner giving up a cab to a single male. (We’re Soooo Polite).
The piece I saw about this story noted Toronto has a “fusty” image: Not a word you hear in everyday lexicon. If you’re working on vocabulary improvement, try putting that one into your conversations today. As a public service, and for clarity, a check of the W&W trusty Thesaurus offers the following synonyms: fetid, mouldy, damp, stale, musty, decaying, rotten, stuffy, old-fashioned, antiquated, outdated, dull, boring. Pretty-well describes how the RestOfCanada views the brilliance of the GTA.

Green Prince Department:
The current pre-occupation with “things-green” has touched the Royals. Charles and Camilla travel to Philadelphia today and will forego the private jet in favour of commercial travel via British Airways (BA). Since the nice man is getting an environmental award during his visit, there is a certain “poltical-correctness” to the decision. W&W notes BA is scheduled to go on strike soon, and we wonder will the pair sleep in the airport if the return flight is delayed.

Buried Story? Department:
In a recent piece about Oprah Winfrey’s tiff with one of her proteges, a one-liner almost slipped past your Intrepid Reporter. The item focused on some woman who does a show under the Harpo banner and is, apparently, having a small dispute with the boss. At the tail end of the item it was mentioned, briefly, and without any elaboration: “The talk show host is also having trouble with Dr. Phil.” Someone call Rosie and Donald and let them know they’re not the only ones having relationship troubles.

Students of Language Department:
Melissa Leong writes a clever and insightful column, headlined “Group Think?” in today’s National Post. Focused on the word “community” she notes how the handle has been kidnapped by assorted groups to create some legitimacy for their efforts. A good read and raises our awareness of how the use of language is changing.
http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=278335cb-8a08-4adf-9a0a-9b9dc62442a5&k=10490

Vol. II No. 12

2007-01-25T06:43:00.000-08:00

Kindness Extended Department:
Once in a while somebody quietly appears in your life and extends a hand of friendship to a weary traveller. Such was the case yesterday for your Intrepid Reporter. The details don’t matter, and full-disclosure would probably embarrass the person concerned. Suffice to say I am deeply grateful. It also reminds me God does work in very mysterious ways.

State of the Union Address Summary Department:
President Bush spoke for about 50 minutes in his annual report to the nation. What you need to know about it: Some people liked it, some people did not. For a lengthier commentary tune to CNN for endless analaysis, all of which arrives at aforementioned conclusion. (PS: Britney Spears didn’t watch it.)

Today’s Interesting Question:
Thanks to Pam for this insightful musing: If a turtle does not have his shell, is he naked or homeless?

Who Are We? … Really? . . . Department:
In the recent Harper cabinet shuffle Jason Kenney was appointed secretary of state for multiculturalism and Canadian identity. I think I understand the multiculturalism part of that portfolio. But can someone tell me what a “Canadian Identity” is? Many years ago Pierre Burton defined a Canadian as someone who can make love in a canoe. W&W trusts we can do better than that. Your suggestions for Mr. Kenney most welcome here: alan.speak@yahoo.ca We’ll happily pass them along to Ottawa for inclusion in the white-paper which will inevitably become part of this discourse. As a public service, we note there is, in fact, a web site dedicated to the subject (who knew?) http://www.canadianidentity.com/

Indisputable Laws Department:
Contributor David passed along a couple of “Laws of Life” worthy of note:
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

On A Purely-Personal Note Department:
Belated congrats to Stephanie who just joined a newly formed Airline as a First Officer. Way to go Steph. We love you a bunch. Can’t wait to hear you on the PA. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is your First Officer speaking.” Too cool.

Vol.II No 11

2007-01-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

Food For Thought Department:
Friend Rick always gives me “cause-to-pause”, and to think. A recent offering from the lad is worth repeating here: Every one of us hungers for food, companionship and God. A shared meal is the only place in which those three needs can be met simultaneously.

Construction-Music Update Department:
Regular readers of W&W will recall recent comment about the music selections of the construction crew next to the office. Must be an older crowd involved in the project this week, because I’m sure I heard some Dean Martin and Neil Diamond blasting from the speakers this morning. Resident dogs seemed to enjoy the change, and refrained from incessant barking for much of the day.

Surprise Surprise Department:
So Hillary’s in. Hard on the heels of Barack Obama’s announcement he’s running for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008, Mrs. Clinton jumps into the fray. Surely nobody is even mildly surprised at this turn of events. The lady is getting some good media-advice. She made the announcement via her web-site on Saturday morning. That strategy effectively captures the “news-cycle” for three days of coverage. All day Saturday, the Sunday morning political gab-fests, and, you can bet, the Monday morning shows will all be scrambling to find new angles and garner her some more coverage. In a blinding grasp of the obvious, the quote that’s getting much play is “I’m in to win”. Right. Inquiring Minds wonder why one would be “In to lose”?

Ya Gotta Love This Deparment:
Humourist Art Buchwald video taped a final message to his fans shortly before his death, and it’s typical of the man’s wit. Facing directly into the camera the man says: “I’m Art Buchwald and I just died.” Good for you Art. Thanks for your wit. We'll miss you.

Canada’s Roswell Department:
UFO fans know about Roswell, New Mexico, the site of strange events in July 1947 when something landed there, and has been shrouded in mystery and talk of government cover-ups ever since. But did you know that Canada has its own version?

The wee town of Shag Harbour Nova Scotia was in the news a lot during October 1967 when a huge lighted object appeared and plunged into the water. Dozens of eyewitnesses, including airline pilots, fishermen, teenagers, and police officers saw the “extra-terrestrial” craft. Nothing was ever found, but questions linger that the case should never have been closed. Where are Muldar and Scully when you need them?

Vol. II No.10

2007-01-18T13:10:00.000-08:00

Makin’ Ya Think Department:
A dear friend asked an intriguing question as we began a pleasant lunch: “What’s the difference between believing and knowing?" The discussion that followed wandered around within the spiritual: I believe in God, vs. I know God; and into the more childlike practical matters such as I don’t just believe that two + two equals four, I know it! What do you believe versus what do you know. Good topic for tonight’s dinner table (once you finish with the Leafs and their current woes).

Add Insult-to-Injury Department:
Trump scores yet-another small victory by getting his star put on Hollywood’s Walk Of Fame. Rosie is not among the stars on the famous sidewalk. Too bad, so sad!

Need Something to Worry About??? Department:
The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists has moved the Doomsday Clock to five minutes before midnight. It’s been at seven minutes to midnight since 2002. The current 2 minute adjustment, according to the folks who decide this stuff, was done because of continuing nuclear activities in such places as North Korea, and now includes the threat of global warming. The clock was first set about 60 years ago, shortly after the US dropped atomic bombs on Japan.

A Problem Ya Don’t Wanna Have Department:
Too heavy for sex? Such is the verdict for Chuang Chuang of Bangkok, Thailand. The chap weighs in at 331 pounds, while his partner, Lin Hui, tips the scales at a mere 253. Chuang goes on a strict diet immediately to, hopefully, make him more attractive to his lady-friend. The pair of Pandas was rented from the Chinese, for a fee of $250,000, to try and boost a rapidly declining population. Inquiring Minds wonder how you get into the Rent-a-Panda business?

Continuing Our Animal-theme Department:
A daring skunk who travelled more than 3500 kilometres, from California to Mississauga, Ontario will return home soon, thanks to a couple of brave folks from a California radio show. The polecat survived the week-long journey hidden in a truck. As a public service to the rescue-team, W&W advises the average skunk can spray a distance of up to almost four metres. Stand back, and pay attention to the warning signs of an impending attack of seriously-bad smell, which can include foot-stomping and hand-standing on their front feet.
By the way, rumours the Leafs considered adopting the lad as a new mascot have been denied. (sorry, couldn’t resist)

Vol. II No.9

2007-01-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

Why This Blog Department:
For those who wonder why this is being done at all, consider the original motives, from back in the days when it was an email message sent to anyone who expressed interest.
Wit and Wisdom: a slice of recent life and events. Presented in short bursts, the idea is to stimulate you to either think or smile, or maybe both. And from friend David who consulted on the early incarnations: “Be a mirror”.
Your ideas, comments, critique and suggestions always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca
And feel free to pass on the location to anyone you know.

The Guys Next Door Department:
A construction project is going on next to the office. The lads who are doing the building just added rather loud music to the project, and I confess I am not thrilled with many of their selections. That said, I do admire the effort to keep themselves amused amidst the usual noises of construction. It’s not exactly sing-along material, but what the heck, if it keeps them entertained, so be it. Niki-the-wonder-dog adds her editorial comments frequently, especially when the choice is rap. Good dog. Hmmm!

Ponder this Department:
How many millions of cows are in the country? Right! A lot, by any measure. Apparently we have the skill and technology to track one cow-with-a-disease, all the way from birth to its present location. Inquiring Minds suggest we apply the same strategy to illegal immigrants, and Osama Bin Laden. (thanks to contributor-Lorna for making this point.)

Reflections Department:
A recent discussion with a truly bright group of people wandered into an area that caused some pause: “There is no time in the real Universe”. Time is a construct of man, in a weak attempt to establish some order to an otherwise un-orderable world. In the grand scheme of things we are all on SpaceShip Earth for only a wee snippet of time. Perhaps the important question is not what time is it, or how much time do you have? Rather, the meaningful question is: What are you doing with the small chunk you’ve been given? Your Intrepid Reporter thinks this will stimulate some intriguing feedback from the wise readers of W&W.

Breakfast Department:
NPD Group, a New York-based consumer research organization, announced recently that soft-drinks (known by our neighbours to the south as “soda”), are increasingly part of the morning “out-for-breakfast” crowd’s selections. During the last fifteen years, a 15% increase in pop-with-breakfast orders is accompanied by a 25% decline in coffee orders. In case you didn’t know, a typical soft drink contains about 35 milligrams of caffeine per 8-ounce serving. A similar size coffee averages about 75 milligrams.

Vol. II No. 8

2007-01-12T06:46:00.000-08:00

Gratitude Department:
Thanks to the good folks at Dell, your Intrepid Reporter (I.R.) has my trusty laptop back on the job. It must be said that all of my dealings with the service types were terrific. They were polite, friendly and efficient. And did what they said they would do. I recognize that ought not to be unique in the business of business, but it is, and full marks go to whoever is making things happen at Dell. Thank you.

Enough-already Department:
Trump-O’Donnell just will not go away. Latest is a defense of Ms. Rosie by pal Madonna. Surely I’m not the only one who couldn’t care a whit what Madonna thinks about anything. That she rallied to Rosie’s cause is yet another illustration of famous-for-being-famous-folks showing up on the talk-shows to babble incessantly. In a related story, The View’s ratings climbed a little since the battle began, but the Apprentice did not live up to expectations. Gee…that’s too bad. Hmmm!

Word-watch Department:
You will recall that Pluto got dumped from the planet category last year. (A short-lived attempt by W&W to form a Save Pluto Society faded due to lack of funding.) The lonely former-planet may have the last revenge thanks to the American Dialect Society. The ADS names a “Word of the Year” and the 2006 submission is “plutoed”. Defined as “to demote or devalue something, as happened to the former planet when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union decided Pluto no longer met its definition of a planet”. Seems to me I got plutoed several time by a Grade 9 algebra teacher.

From Gentle-Genius-friend Rick Department:
A stellar lad who continues to touch my soul offers an intriguing definition worthy of thought: Church is a group of people who love God and love each other. I.R. notes the absence of a specific number of folks, bricks and mortar, music, sermons, money, power. Does that definition apply to wherever you spend time on a Sunday morning? In fact, that definition makes no mention of a day of the week for "Church".

By The Way Department:
A large poster of Albert Einstein is mounted on a wall here. One of my favourite quotes: Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Aforementioned friend-Rick is among the “Great Spirits” I am privileged to know, which probably means he’ll encounter some opposition to a comment he made: Love God, Love each other. Everything else is culture.

One more from Einstein Department:
I want to know what God is thinking. The rest is details.
Hmmm.

Your Comments always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

And yes, feel free to pass along the location of this site to anyone you know who likes to think and/or chuckle.

Vol. II No. 7

2007-01-09T12:25:00.000-08:00

Pen and Paper Department
Computer crashed this week. As usual, we don't appreciate what we've got until it's gone. This is written on ancient Laptop that is soooooooo slow. Even as it's written, I don't even know if there's enough capacity or memory to upload it to the site. If you're reading it on the web, the answer is "yes".

Your Observations Department
Recent email, from Vic in Alaska, advised that he paid close attention to whether or not people actually listened to the answer to the question: How are you? His note suggests that folks didn't do very well in his survey. Although not a scientific test, it reveals much about how we interact with each other. "It was rather discouraging to realize that we are stuck in social habits, even something as minor as a greeting. Seven people asked me that question today and only one really heard my response. My goal for the rest of the day is to be one who pays more attention."

Famous for Being Famous Department:
Not content with allowing the supermarket tabloids to give otherwise unremarkable celebrities some exposure, Kate Kretz, a North Carolina artist, created a painting of Angelina Jolie as the Virgin Mary. Pictured with her kids, the work shows the lady perched in the clouds above a Wall-Mart Titled "Blessed Art Thou" the painting is garnering attention for the artist. Wasn’t it Andy Warhol who said we all get 15 minutes of fame sometime in our lives? This must be the fifteen for Ms. Kretz. Or maybe longer, once CNN jumps on the story, finds some art-experts to comment, and resurrects Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to offer endless analysis of the religious implications.

What's The Difference? Department:
AKA: when is a civil war not a civil war?
Can someone please explain the difference between a civil war and "sectarian violence"? Seems to us that if people in the same country are killing each other that qualifies as a civil war (notwithstanding the idea that war, by its nature, is hardly "civil") News reports from Iraq, along with the usual talking-head, retired-expert-analysts, have caught on to the phrase sectarian violence whenever reference is made to the battles raging in that part of the planet.

And on a Lighter Note Department:
Congrats to Canada's Junior hockey squad. The lads scored a third straight Gold Medal at the World Junior Championships in Sweden. Way to go Guys!

Vol. II No. 6

2007-01-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

Scrap These Words Department:
Lake Superior State University published its annual list of words/phrases that ought to be banished. Some notables that made this year’s offerings:

Awesome
Now playing in theatres (Inquiring Minds ask “Where else?”
Ask your doctor
Combined names of celebs, such as TomKat and Brangelina
Gone missing (as if that’s a place you can actually go. Hmm!)

W&W humbly suggests we add:
At the end of the day
Going forward, and it’s cousin, “moving forward”
And from recent television newscasts: “Here’s what’s making news right now” (would you rather hear what was making news yesterday? Hmm!)
A spokesperson for _______ (do these people not have names?)
Television reporters who constantly thank each other. (as in “thanks for that report”)
At this point in time (that would be NOW)

Cabinet Watch Department:
As predicted by the Ottawa news-hounds Mr. Harper shuffled the Cabinet, and embattled Environment Minister, Rona Ambrose, has moved from her portfolio to less strenuous activities. No doubt global warming will come to an end now a new minister is on the case. Jason Kenney was sworn in as secretary of state for multiculturalism and Canadian identity. We eagerly anticipate his defintion of “Canadian Identity”.
Is it just me, or is there any significance to the number of new appointments that are from Ontario? Can you say: “election strategy”?

Just In Case Department:
In the unlikely event you still care about this, an update on the O’Donnell/Trump spat: The Donald’s 25 year old daughter, Ivanka, got some air time on NBC’s Today Show to defend daddie. Inquiring Minds note the new season of Apprentice begins this weekend and The View’s ratings took a wee hike in recent days. An interesting sidebar to this non-story is The Rosie is on vacation from The View this week and “unavailable for comment”. Vacation??. Already. She’s only had the job for a few weeks.Must have a good agent.

Are You Listening Department:
Here’s a wee test: Take note today of how many people ask “How are you?”. Then observe how many of them actually listen to your answer.

Feedback Department:

Your comments, observations and ideas always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

You can remain anonymous if you choose. Just tell me that, and we'll omit your identification.

Vol. II No 5

2007-01-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

Yesterdays’s gentle dusting of snow is gone this morning. The birds seem confused by the warm weather, and even a squirrel wanders around aimlessly, causing much angst for resident Niki-the-wonder dog. Where there was clean snow, now lies a reasonable amount of muck, which is yet-another reminder a blonde dog is not always the best idea in the pet-department. Sister-dog, a smaller, also white, k-9, digs endlessly at who-knows-what, and drags much of the backyard into the basement. I take a moment to note that I could live in Denver or Winnipeg, which are currently getting dumped with a ton of snow.

Stimulate Your Mind Department:
Robert Fulford’s recent column in the National Post series on Christianity is a worthwhile read. http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/story.html?id=312dc8c7-8311-48a4-9419-7d3bbe69f303

Of Salary Increase and Vacation Department:
Ontario’s provincial politicians have a nice gig: Vote themselves a hefty raise and then split from the office until mid-March. Inquiring Minds wonder if we’ll remember that when the election happens in October.

Where’s Mrs. Chretien When You Need Her? Department:
A lady crashed her car into the gate at the PM’s Harrington Lake residence the other night. RCMP responded quickly and busted the errant driver. There is no truth to the rumour that Mrs. Chretien has been called back to guard the place with the Inuit sculpture that was her weapon-of-choice the last time such a breach occurred.

New Name-for-Fame Department:
Todd Leopold, a rather clever writer on CNN’s website, has coined a term to describe a media phenomenon. Dubbed Hiltonworld, it’s the place otherwise unremarkable celebs show up for no apparent reason. Does anyone really care what Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan do with their spare time? Seems to this observer those three are famous for being famous, and make virtually no meaningful contribution to SpaceShip Earth. Surely such notoriety could be put to some positive use to make the planet a better place to live.

Hmmmm! Department:
A friend asked a question yesterday that caused a moment’s pause on a New Year’s eve morning: “This time next year, who will be talking about that made a positive difference in the life of another human being?” Your Intrepid reporter adds this observation: Could it be you? And what will you do today to make that happen? If not you, who? And if not now, when?

Wit and Wisdom Vol. II No. 4

2006-12-30T08:12:00.000-08:00

A morning of contrasts.
As this is written, a gentle snow falls and blankets the streets with the first white stuff we have seen in a while. I wonder how many Dads will be taking a car full of kids to the ski hill or toboggan run, and buying pails full of hot chocolate.

The contrast is most obvious on the morning news programs, which are filled with the execution of Saddam Hussen that took place a few hours ago. CNN producers insist on running graphic video of the noose being placed over his head. Mercifully, they stop it before the task is complete, but the vision of that scene burns in memory, and runs repeatedly as background to endless comment about the implications of his death.

To be fair, I’ll declare my bias: I no longer support the death penalty. That change took place some years ago when a friend asked a question often put forth by opponents: “Why do we kill people to prove that killing people is wrong?”

What’s troubling about the Hussein case is not so much whether he deserved to die, but rather the spectacle being made of it. What does it say about us? Media fills the airwaves and, presumably, we watch it. Inquiring Minds ask why? Your thoughts welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Feedback Department
Never underestimate the intelligence of your audience. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale told me that many moons ago. Recent offerings to the W&W Inbox confirm how right he was. In the Christmas blog I asked about counting blessings versus wallowing in whatever grief currently sits in your life. A lady who identifies herself in her email as “A mom from PEI” tells of a tradition started by her parents and continued each Christmas morning since her kids could talk. Before they open presents, they spend half an hour over toast, tea and other goodies, and share the blessings they have received during the year. Some items on this year’s list bear noting for the rest of us: I’m happy it’s warm in here and we have good food. I’m glad my Grandma visits us often. I got a new bell on my bike. The music at Church last night was really cool. The dog sleeps with me and cuddles during the night.

By The Way Department:
Nice Lady from PEI asked if it’s okay to pass along the location of W&W to other cyber- friends. You bet. The more the merrier, and the wider the audience the broader the views and ideas we might all get to share. Feel free to send it wherever you like.

And on a Personal Note Department:
May your New Year be filled with the gift of good health, someone to love, and someone to listen. And may you be the “someone to listen” when someone else really needs it.

Wit and Wisdom Vol. II No. 3 December 26, 2006

2006-12-26T08:44:00.000-08:00

So how was your Christmas? Pause for a moment and really think about your answer to that question. Did you enjoy good food and time with a loving family? Do some things to make your corner of the planet a little bit better place to be? Eat too much? Open way-too-many presents – most of which you really don’t need? Attend a Church service? Say a prayer for someone who’s hurting? Visit someone who is lonely?

Did you remember why we call it Christmas? Did you take a moment to thank God for His Son?

Did you count a blessing or two? Or wallow in whatever pain and heartaches are part of your life at the moment?

Making A Difference Department
A recent chat with a dear friend yielded some interesting observations about poverty, homelessness, and the politics surrounding those issues. He runs a food program for less fortunate folks, and does his best to stay out of the endless rangling that goes on about funding, who should pay, who controls who should pay, and one of my favourite questions: Who decides who decides?

To be fair, we did not come up with any brilliant ideas or long-term solutions to what has become a problem of epidemic proportions across this otherwise-rich land of ours. What we did decide is that for one moment in time, in this time and this place, he can give one person a meal who probably wouldn’t get one. A favourite quote of mine from Dr. Norman Vincent Peale reads: “My inability to fix the entire world does not relieve me of the responsibility to fix the parts I can!” Acting in small ways eventually creates a profound and positive difference on a larger scale. So, here’s a question to kick-start your imagination and action-plan: What small thing can YOU do, today, to improve the life of a fellow traveller?

Religion vs. Spirituality Department
The National Post launched a series recently to explore religion and spirituality in Canada. The lead article, headlined “Church of Tough Love” begins with the observation:. With interest in spirituality on the rise and church attendance in freefall, a week-long National Post series considers the state of Canadian Christianity and whether the way forward may in fact be the way backward
Your Intrepid Reporter draws this to your attention as a way for you to “dig a little deeper” into your beliefs. How do you experience whatever higher power you believe in? Or do you even hold such a belief? In the interest of full-disclosure, I’ll declare my bias: I believe in a loving God. I don’t make any claim to understand Him, but I do know He exists -- for me. If that offends some readers, so be it. I also acknowledge and honour your right to your own view of this often controversial subject. We don’t have to agree, but we can always respect other views.

I Cannot Be The Only One Department:
Am I one of the only people who doesn’t care what Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell think about each other? Inquring Minds wonder if the current public battle between the two has anything to do with declining ratings of The View, or the January re-launch of Trump’s otherwise unremarkable reality show. A pox on both their houses.

As always, your thoughts on subjects raised here….or darn near anything else that winds you up…welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Wit and Wisdom II

2006-12-23T06:35:00.000-08:00

Vol. II No. 2 December 16, 2006
Wit and Wisdom
Thoughts to entertain, enlighten, hold up a mirror, and stimulate thinking.

Welcome to a brief look at our world, what’s going on in it, and some occasionally irreverent views of news-of-the-day. The goal of W&W is to help you to smile, to perhaps enlighten you, and mostly to stimulate you to think. You can offer your own thoughts on anything raised here…or pretty-well anything else…via email alan.speak@yahoo.ca

Wit is a fast-take on the universe as we know it, the occasional one-liner, amusing anecdotes or observations of the human condition and general weirdness. If any of this brings a chuckle to your day, it’s been worthwhile. If it moves you to do some little thing to make your corner of the world a bit more pleasant, good for you.

Wisdom is observations by the writer, and others, used here to enlighten, or hold up that mirror.

Inquiring Minds (I.M.) -- a short comment/question

Wits:
The dog knows if you put two cookies in your pocket and only hand out one!

Truth being stranger than fiction is an old idea, and one continually reinforced by even a cursory observation of the human condition. Note recent items culled from a variety of media sources:
* In France, a man with severe stomach pains appeared at an emergency-ward. X-rays revealed 51/2 kilograms (about 12 pounds) of coins, necklaces and needles which he had apparently been swallowing for more than a decade.
* Whitehorse may discontinue its annual “Hairy Legs Contest” because of milder winters.
* University of Toronto linguist Sali Tagliamonte concluded use of the word like by teenagers has taken a four-fold jump in the last seven years. Her study revealed usage peaks at age 16: As much as one in every 20 words is “like”. Which is, like, a lot!

Wisdoms:
The Wise Men of Biblical times paid attention: --
Refer Matthew 2:12 “they departed to their own country by another way”. Thus demonstrating that ancient man could ask for, and follow, directions. An attribute apparently abandoned by men of our own time.

Thomas Moore inspires today’s “hmmmm thought”: In his book, Original Self, he writes:
It may be more important to be awake
than to be successful, balanced or healthy.
Being awake means more than the clinical definition. It requires attention, especially to what we think about and how we react or respond to any given situation. Are you truly awake to, for example, your own potential? Your own value?
On a practical level, consider the Zen observation: If you are going to be here, BE HERE!

The name Solomon, Sphinx and Rosetta Stone have all been linked to wisdom in a variety of ways. But when was the last time Oannes came up in conversation? A mythological character with the form of a fish and head of a man, Oannes was said to appear on the seashore of the Persian Gulf to instruct mankind in writing, the arts, and the sciences. Neither history nor myth tell us whether he might appear on the Ottawa River.

Your Intrepid Reporter sat in on a discussion with a group of talented and wise seniors recently. They call their meeting: Body Mind and Spirit, and the chat ranges from deeply meaningful observations from their youth, through to their comments about current events and the effect on the lives of those around them. Much knowledge, a tremendous spirit of fun and a chance to connect with folks who, perhaps just want to know that someone is still listening to them. A truly joyful time and I am deeply grateful to have been allowed to participate.

Wit and Wisdom

2006-12-23T06:26:00.000-08:00

Vol. II No 1 December 23, 2006

Greetings, Salutations, and Hello;
Wit and Wisdom: a slice of recent life and events. Presented in short bursts, the idea is to stimulate you to either think or smile, or maybe both. According to the plan, you ought to be able to read these entries in about 60 seconds: maybe 90 seconds on some days. There is no particular pattern to the postings: Just “stuph” as it occurs to your Intrepid Reporter. Your comments, observations, ideas and spirit of fun always welcome at alan.speak@yahoo.ca Enjoy. Frankly, I’m still figuring out this whole blog-thing, so have a little patience if you notice errors. Thanks.

In Case You missed it Department;
In an effort to keep our readers informed of matters of great import, here are a couple of recent items that may have escaped your attention in the busyness of the season:
- The top job at RCMP is up for grabs. Applications and detailed resume can be sent c/o the Prime Minister’s office. No postage required.
- Time’s “Person of the Year” (US version) is YOU. I kid you not. We can now all claim to have been on the cover of the magazine. Cool.
- Canadian version of same is Stephen Harper.

Nooz You Can Use Department:
A study at University of California – Berkely - reports that humans can smell with both nostrils better than if we only had one. Now there’s something you might not have thought about until now.

You cannot kiss your own elbow. Go ahead, try it.

US Retailers report massive profits from un-unused gift cards. In response to this phenomenon, Ontario and Manitoba have introduced legislation that bans expiry dates on such cards. Check your junk drawer for last year’s offerings. You might surprise yourself.

Ex-Montrealers take note: The Olympic stadium, built for the 1976 Games is finally paid off. Originally projected to cost 250 million, the final tab was 1.5 bllion. A slight cost-over-run. Vancouver Olympic Committee pay attention.

Media-Watch Department:
Next time you tune into CNN take note of the “look”. The network has a distinct “web-feel” in its visual presentation. Liberal use of multiple-screens in varying dimensions and locations look suspiciously similar to web graphics and layout. Could this be an attempt to counter the overwhelming influence the Net is having on where many of us find our news and informtion?

Also on the TV-front, what, exactly do “Producers” do on television shows? Not sure why this caught my attention, but on a recent episode of CSI Miami, no less than 12 producers got credit: Nine in the opening sequence, and three in the closing.